June 10, 2007

June 10, 2007

This weekend 4 of us girls traveled to the Eastern Cape, South Africa. We stopped in George for the night and continued on the Nizum. Along the journey was the World Highest Bungee Jump, 216 meters, 750 feet. It was set up underneath the worlds highest bridge,, with the most glorious view of the mountains, trees, ocean and a beautiful river streaming through it all. I had decided I would convince the girls to take on this amazing adventure with me. When we arrived in Plettenburg Bay, where the world's highest bungee bridge stood, I found myself pumped, elated and extremely nervous as this was going to test my courage in more ways then one. I knew that every muscle in my body would plead and beg with me NOT TO JUMP. I knew that common sense would keep me on solid ground and in order to jump I would have to ignore every voice in my head and override every thought, every muscle, every view point except the one I had chosen to follow, which was to in fact 'JUMP'.

This experience was so insightful as it taught me about the everyday battle of the mind. Most of the time I hear a voice plead with me not to attempt something far outside my comfort zone. And most of the time I fall short of overriding the voice and circum to it instead. I knew that jumping against my better judgment would prove I could also learn to do that in everyday life. I didn't want to be pushed, I wanted to see if I could believe in myself enough to just jump without any hesitation. To trust that if I jumped everything would just work out. I could trust God to take care of me. I could trust I was safe in the hands of those who would tie my ropes and secure my safety belts. I gave up my need to fear the situation and let go of all reservations and allowed myself to attempt something risky, scary, frightening, and extremely adventurous.

As I stood at the edge, I looked down, which they tell you never to do because you will be less likely to jump if you do, but I wanted to truly see what I was attempting, what I was overcoming, what I was pushing myself to receive of. And as the two men started to count, I looked up to the camera blew a kiss and without a single hesitation I jumped. I felt the force of the air pushing against my face at 140 km an hour. Everything was blurry as I refused to close my eyes for even a moment. I wanted to see it all. I wanted to take it all in. I was so alive. I felt so small in midst of such extravagant beauty. I screamed out "Thank you God, Thank you!!!" It was the most enlightening experience of my life. To feel so free. So small. So safe in the midst of something so potentially dangerous. I realized it didn't really take anything more then an actual decision to JUMP. The rest took care of itself and in the end, it was the greatest experience of my ENTIRE LIFE. The greatness of the experience was in the DECISION to jump. I took control of my thoughts and just did what I was fearing. AHHHH…..I can honestly say I have never experienced anything better. I had the best day of my life on June 09,2007. For more reason then the jump itself, but for the lesson I learnt through that experience. You will never feel closer to God then you do when placed in a position where the outcome is out of your hands and you have to trust in God's goodness to protect you and come through for you. I can honestly say I am now an adrenaline junkie. I'm trying to find a way to go back and do the jump again. With all of my heart and soul I really deeply have to do that jump one more time before leaving SA.

I can't describe how healthy a perspective that opportunity showed me. It's safe to jump off the ledge and try new things even when the outcome could bring what appears to be sudden death if attempted. I will now take that experience with me into all my future adventures. My singing/acting career for one. I'm going to JUMP, at least try it. Who knows maybe it won't work out but what if it does. It's worth the risk. It's worth the JUMP. I long to give it a try. I want to use what I've learnt now. I can control my thoughts and try daring things. If I have the intention to do something I can override the fear and do it anyway. Wow. That is great news. I loved every moment of that experience.

We don't all have to jump off a bridge to learn that lesson, we just have to learn to attempt things that scare us. And trust some how it will all work out. And even better then that, it will be the best experience of our lives if we just give it a chance. I am in awe of all I've been learning. There is nothing better in life then to grow and become all that we desire to be and all that God created us to be. I have to let go in many areas of my life as I have tried to control these areas for most of my life. I am alive. I am alive. I am alive.

Today is a new day and I give myself the right to have the best life, best relationship, best career, best friendships, best opportunities one could ever ask, hope or imagine. Today I open myself up to all opportunity to love in all areas of my life. God is good. I am good. Love is good. I am heart. I am soul. I am whole. I am the change I long to see within the world. It must start within and spread throughout. We can only hope to have learnt enough along our journey to pass something meaningful on to our future loved ones and allow them to change the future existence of man through wisdom, grace and glory. Who knew a damn bungee jump could be so enlightening. I guess the opportunity to grow and learn and receive is in any single opportunity if we will only be open to receive it.

I'm excited to someday teach my own children (yes, mother, maybe one day i'll give you grandchildren...ha ha) all that I have learnt.
I still make poor choices at times, but at least I'm choosing to learn from them instead of stopping or quitting. And in my books, that is the sign of an intelligent, wise, successful being. At times I may be holding on for dear life but as long as I eventually let go, I'm proud of myself, and the journey it took to get me there. There's nothing wrong with that. Failure my friends, breads success, so when a man fails and gets back up you can be sure success will meet him around the corner. It's tried, tested and true.

Shine your light, we're dying to see!
bebe